Posted by Jezebel on August 19, 19101 at 05:22:11:
In Reply to: Re: why is life so cruel for good looking guys? posted by PopTart on August 19, 19101 at 04:57:35:
: : : : yeah......i got this problem. im a hunk but the birds dont notice me. do you think its cos they think im too good for em. see when i go out on a saturday night, i get dressed up in me best clobber, i put on my ralph lauren chaps cheesecloth shirt (with paisley collar) then on goes my oxford bag trousers with extra wide turnups. to top of my classy look i choose a nice pair of white and black brogue shoes. i leave out the spats cos they are a bit dated now. my hair...which is short on top and permed at the back is complemented with a nice 9 carat gold dangly crusifix earing...then a dab of winfield cologne im ready to go. i head for the classier clubs in town so i make straight for sheperds bush social club.as i enter, the womens heads turn straight away, so do the guys but i ignore them cos i aint gay ok. the women play hard to get at first cos when i ask em for a dance they always tell me to fuck off...ha ha as if they mean it. after a night of dissapointment and blow outs i head for the kebab shop for a chicken doner and sliced potatoes (chips to the working classes). when hey!! the woman behind the counter asks if i wanna go back to hers for a coffee (shag). so we are sitting on the couch she tells me she need to use the bathroom to clean up and have a shave. (i felt she looked better with the moustache but who am i to judge). suddenly she appears at the door. the corset look great,but i wasnt too keen on the y fronts ( i cant stand lime green)as i sat munching on me kebab she says would i like to munch on her kebab. i gave it a go but wow toooo much garlic . and it burnt me lips. i felt i had to do the honours and make love to her. i was on form as usual, 6 minutes of solid passion. though when she got on top im sure my back clicked, i mean it aint easy acccomadating twenty five stones in weight.afterwards she lit up a ciggarette and broke wind several times ,and joked oh id better not light that up. that really put me off, i cant stand smoking. another relationship down the pan.
: : : jez and poptart.....i beg of you......tell me why am i too classy for the average bird.
: : : thx scoot xxx
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: : ROTFLMFAO!!!!!
: OMFG scootie.....where have you been all my life??? Take me NOW!!!! (perhaps you could switch your aftershave/cologne/whatever to Hai Karate or maybe a splash of Brut33...that would be just perfect *swoon*) PT
Yes Scoot, it sounds like you've got it all... wit, charm, charisma, *class*. (Are you sure you're not from Yorkshire, btw?) You need a special kind of lady who can match all that you have to offer. Barnsley on a Saturday night is full of such beauties. Move up North ;) Jez.