Posted by Trab on December 21, 2002 at 01:19:32:
In Reply to: Mars and Venus posted by Cleopatra on December 15, 2002 at 15:55:27:
: Do you think that men are incapable of fidelity? Is that like some sort of glandular thing or what? Do you think women are equally faithless?
: Yours ever,
: Cleo
Isn't all relative to one's surroundings/relationships/agreements? I mean, some folks believe that thinking about another person in "those" ways is being unfaithful.
I seem to think the bigger picture is about lying, mistrust, and disrespect. To me, any one of these three things hurts way more than cheating. I can live with my partner wanting to have sex with other people. The love that I have for someone isn't based on sex (believe it or not). It's based on a combination of things. While I know I have my hangups and such, I still look at all the things that make up my partner as opposed to just the sex we have (or don't have). I, myself at times feel the need to have another person involved in my sexual practices. I don't typically prefer to go out and have sex without my partner, though I can't say that thought hasn't crossed my mind, but it's more of a rarity for me.
I certainly believe that if my partner feels a need to cheat, then somewhere along the course of the relationship, something else if failing. It boils down to my partner isn't getting what she needs from me and has to turn to someone else. Trust me I've been there. :<
For me, it's all about the agreement. My partner and I should live by the agreement we make. I think though, more times than not, there is either no agreement expressed, or the agreement is assumed or implied on one or both sides. I've been there also. I'm hoping these things will happen less and less as I grow older.
Trab